How do you deal with your toddler’s actions in the playground?
It’s wonderful autumn day, a perfect day to go to playground. We have a play date in the park today. It’s with my son’s friend from preschool. This is new to me, most of our play dates were with my friend’s kids and mine.
This is good I was looking forward for him to find a friend of his own. The preschool teacher says they are amazing together, they understand each other very well considering my son is just learning English. English is his second language at least for another six months?
Play dates and playground times are the most challenging and difficult times of parenting for me. I have to let him win his battles, let him judge and act. I have to let him try and communicate with other kids although his English is not comprehendible most of the time.
He is only three and a half years old and when I talk to other moms, preschool teacher, or a daycare owner they all say he is just doing fine for his age. To me, he can do better, he can be more polite and more giving and more sharing.
I’m a kind of person that pays attention to the others. Even sometimes I give in to others easily, to prevent confrontation or any discussion. This is not a good habit most of the times. It’s good to know when to let go but sometime you have to stand for little things you want too. I have to be clear, when I know what I’m doing is right and I want to do that and have my own experience, I will follow my heart. But for instance if some one asks me if the dress she is wearing to the party is nice, I would say yes even if I think it’s not. I’m not dishonest, if the same person asked me at the time she was buying the dress I would say, no get some thing else. But I don’t see any point making some one feel bad about herself when it’s too late to do something about it.
Now take my behaviour around adults and bring it to toddler level at the park. I get upset or frustrated if my son wants to play with someone who won’t play with him and brushes him off. Or when he grabs a toy from another child. And if there is a mom at the park who rolls her eyes towards us, I’ll be on the edge to take my son and go home.
I envy the moms who stand and see their kids get in to power struggle with someone else on a toy and let them do their own thing. I haven’t been brought up that way and this is new practice for me which I’m struggling with.
I like to have your ideas on this, how do you deal with your child’s challenges at the park.
This really isn’t anything to beat yourself up over. Every mom is different with their child and we all do things that other moms won’t agree with, but the important thing is to do what you think is best. If other moms don’t agree, who cares?
I’m a very considerate person to the point where I will get walked on so I understand what you’re saying. I guess what I would try to do is find ways to teach your son empathy (which is hard for a kid his age!) but it isn’t something he’ll learn overnight. Keep taking him to the playground, keep encouraging him to do the right thing (whatever that right thing is that you want to teach him) and don’t worry about other moms rolling their eyes.
If they’re going to be judgmental, tell them to take a hike and go to some other park. They have no right to judge you.
Thank you Cassie,
It’s good to know there are other mom’s dealing with almost the same thing. Most of the times I don’t pay attention to others and do what I think is right, but I can’t wait to get out of the park.
I will take your advice and take him to park more often. It’s a good practice for both of us.