The worst feeling for a child is to be compared to his siblings. Remember, every one has individual abilities and gifts. If you are comparing them to make one of them do something you want, it won’t get you anywhere. For example, saying to one “look how good the other one eats”, the only thing you’ve done is to make him feel bad about the other sibling and not eat just in spite of you.
The question is that if one of the siblings does something good and you want to praise him how do you do that so the other one won’t get offended and upset. To praise one without creating comparison you have to make it about the action not the person. Like: wow Sally, you finished your meal, nice done. Instead of look, Sally finished her meal.
I couldn’t imagine how difficult was for my mom raising two boys and a girl. Now that I see my kids and there is only two of them, I remember those days living in my parents house. The three of us wouldn’t stop for minute we were always in each other’s face.
God help me raising my toddlers. They love each other, but they are always in power struggle. I used to compare them incessantly. I can see the affect of those comparisons now that I pay attention. Now I’m more careful to respect their individuality and not compare them even for eating. Raising kids for sure is a hard job.
Until later,
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Its so hard not to compare them when they are little. I know as they grow older and understand I won’t be comparing them, at least where they can hear. My husband and I are both only children and have no clue about raising siblings.