Today I’m writing in grief. A distant family but a very close family friend passed away couple of days ago of a sudden heart failure. This happened back in Iran and I heard of it through my mother half a day later. I’ve been told that it happened in a matter of few seconds, he was being his normal and living his life when all of a sudden he dropped dead, literary dropped dead. He was 63 and in good health. And he was such a good and caring person.
I can’t tell you how I felt for the past 24hours, I still am somewhat confused and disoriented. I hadn’t talked to him at least for the past 6 months. He was very close to my dad and I asked about him through my parents. His son got married almost 20days ago and I meant to call them and congratulate them, but somehow caught up in the middle of life and two children and missed it. Man I so regret that.
I’m not writing this post to talk about him and how he lived and died. He is gone and what we do with our lives after him is up to us. Bottom line is that life is too short and too precious to waist it for the right and wrongs, for fight and make-ups, and to run after something, without even stopping to take a breath. Life is too short and amazingly very complicated. We are all connected to each other, in our family, in our friend groups, and in our community. With loosing, someone so suddenly the connection is temporary lost; until everyone is over the shock and grief and find a new balance for that specific connection.
Normally I expect too much of myself and of course my loved ones around me. Today I’m rethinking my philosophy. I’m thinking it wouldn’t hurt if I let go of some things, but it would kill me if that discussion was our last. I remember my mother gave me two advices when I was very young. 1- Don’t start complaining and talking about any of your problem when your dad somebody walks in the house. You never know what kind of situation he has been on and you may get a reaction that you are not ready for.
2- Never argue or say harsh words when your dad someone is leaving, you never know if this is the last time you see him.
For the later advice, I’ve never argued at bed time or when, my husband or me are leaving the house. And never left a problem unresolved without a happy ending. Even if I have to apologize or just let go of something, I think I’m right. If everyone thinks that the person he or she are talking to may be the last person he or she talked to or his or hers last time talking to him, he or she would be very careful not to hurt him or be harsh or difficult.
Then earth would be a better place to live on.
Be happy, be kind, and live life to the fullest. Remember life is short and you only get one, make the best of it.